Chronic Illness, Pacing and Festive Times/Holidays

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My perfectionist/achiever part always wanted me to make holiday times fabulous for my family.

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Which I thought I managed for many years; good food (seasonally adjusted), any appropriate decorations around the house, party games, special cakes, friends and family invited round to join us, and us going to friends and family on a different day during the holiday time.

Then I became chronically ill.

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By this time my son was living 40 miles away with some of his friends from university. He came here sometimes, I went there sometimes. Either way it was a struggle for me and upsetting for him to see.

So I learnt to prepare in advance as much as possible. Meals were planned, often made in advance and frozen. Any decorations became more minimal and were put up at least a week before he was due. I was still trying to hide from him how ill I was

While he was here I would frequently go to lie down and wait for my fatigue/malaise to pass. He always did a lot of the cooking, clearing up and dog walking when he was at home. But I felt a failure because I couldn’t create my idea of a perfect family time.

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That was before I started the Gupta Program.

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As I got better, my attitudes changed. I started cooking more casserole type dishes (vague inventions of my own where everything gets chopped up and thrown into the casserole dish then put into the oven on auto-time.) This gave me a break between food prep and food eating.

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Between socializing I went to my room to do the Gupta techniques and to meditate, which helped pick me up again.

I stopped trying to make it all ‘perfect’, which actually made it better for all of us as I was relaxed!.

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Party games were not included. Sometimes the odd online quiz was!

We limited how many friends came at any one time.

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My son and our friends got used to my disappearing to my room, while they entertained each other.

When I visited him I was able to go into a different room away from the company and do my meditation. Or they all went out for a walk while I sat quietly in the house recouping my energy.

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While I was chronically ill I found my way (with much help from the Gupta Program) of managing holiday times and festive occasions:

  • stopping any negative thoughts about what a failure I was because I wasn’t ‘perfect’;
  • pacing myself in order to get as much enjoyment as possible for myself and the company I was with;
  • singing to myself my healing song to stop the tensions which made my illness worse;
  • practising eye smiling to lift my heart/spirits away from thoughts of illness;
  • most of all, telling myself that everyone would rather I was relaxed than striving to be a domestic goddess or fascinating guest, and conking out because of it!
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These past few years since my full recovery my whole life is more relaxed, and I’m fine with whatever happens at festive/holiday times when visiting or being visited.

Margaret-Cory-Blooger-Moderator-Mentor

Margaret Cory

Having been forced to stop working aged 53 due to CFS, I was later diagnosed with Fibromyalgia as well. (With the added challenges of hypersensitivity to chemicals, smells, various foodstuffs, bright light, noise, etc.)

10 years later I found the Gupta Program and started my recovery. Wanting to pay back some small part of what I owe the Gupta Program I later volunteered to be a moderator in the Facebook Gupta Forum.

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